I'm a failure

I just realized. In every aspect I am such a failure.

Well,
In academics,
I was placed 32/43 in my class.
Every subject I got lower marks than my friends who sit beside me. Yes, Every Fucking subject.

In sports,
damn. I'm worse. I can't even dribble a ball right. I can't shoot hoops. I don't have the skills of playing the volleyball. And I know, during picking the teammates, I am always the last to be picked. Coz I suck in sports.

In piano.
You know, no matter how good I play. I never ever get compliments from my family. They will only regard me as noisy and BAD. Never a good pianist.

In relationships,
My friends, I can't ever declare who's out there for me. I can't see a true friend out of them. Nobody remembered my birthday at school this year. Why they did is just study their biology. And during other's bday? They ask me to "share" gifts. How come I never get one of this?
Even the ones whom I close-friend-zone them didn't remember.
I am only there when somebody needs me.

Her,
I can't make it out with her. Every communication I attempt is interrupted. Se don't even give a damn how I am. Everything I did and gave you are considered annoyance and crap for you. I feel so worthless. We are a total failure. I gave up....

In family,
They all regard me as the-one-who-plays-the-computer-everyday . Yes I don't deny that, but son you all see what I've did for this home? What I get are critics. I can't see no appreciation in anything... I am just a normal person in this home.

In physical appearance,
I don't look good. I'm not a hot guy or whatever. I am short. Although I've grown a bit taller. But I am still short in comparison with the other guys in school.
I am skinny, I can't provide a sense of secure for others. When they refer to the Strong Boys when they need help carrying/shifting heavy loads. I am axed out.

In daily skills,
Especially in the kitchen, I have to admit. I am a total amateur. Yes I can't even peel an onion properly without tearing. I can't fry an egg without breaking it's yolk. I don't know how to cook dishes.

In decisions,
I make wrong decisions time to time. And when I do, I have heavy consequences. Because of me, a lot suffered. Yeah, because of me...

In arts
I don't sing well
I can't dance
I draw like a three year old

Even in games
DotA for example, I won't be the pillar of the team. I would probably be the one feeding and letting my team down.

Yes, everything stated above are true.
Yes, I am pessimist which looks optimistic.
Yes, I don't feel good right now. Not a bit.
Yes, I, Tee Chen Giap is a total failure.
But no, I am not going to stay this way, I will change. I will try. I will!